Our Pets

Maryann and Jason play mommy and daddy to three very spoiled rats – Spider Rat, Marshmallow, and John Holmes. Each rat has their own very unique and interesting personality, and when combined, they form one really big cat that hasn’t been declawed.

spiderrat2Spider Rat (formally Buu)
Spider Rat is the smallest of the rats. She’s half the size of Marshmallow and likes to hang upside down on the top of the cage and make her way back and forth (hence her new name). She is the easiest to hold out of all of the rats and likes to steal John’s cheese.

Marshmallow is a lesbian. She is very protective of Spider Rat most of the time, but when it’s meal time, she is the one who comes out on top. She enjoys eating her stolen food behind their rock and never likes to share with Spider Rat. Marshmallow, sometimes called Fat Ass Rat, needs to go on a diet as she is twice the weight of Spider Rat. Despite being on the heavy side, she can jump like nobody’s business and really ought to pay more attention because sometimes she does not land the jumps.

johnJohn Holmes
John Holmes is the latest to join the family. He was named after the legendary porn star himself and is rather well endowed. He has a crush on Spider Rat and prefers to deflower her over Marshmallow (who hates John Holmes cause she’s in love with Spider Rat, although it looks to be certain that both girls are now pregnant)… John is a bit of a pussy – he cowers in his cage and doesn’t move. If approached negatively by one of the girl rats, he also cowers. Put him down on the ground though and you’ll spend a good ten minutes trying to catch him cause he’s so darn quick.

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Maryann challenges Jason's beard with her super, industrial strength mop of tangled hair.